There are so many beginnings and so many endings in this story.

The beginning of joy and the end of sorrow, or the beginning of pain and the end or happiness.

Not joy. But happiness. Because that is what’s temporary.

I can go every day and say that I am joyful, that’s not a lie and that’s not a difficult thing to say. But to speak of happiness, hurts. Because it has long since fled from me, it hides in the shadows of my mind and occasionally it comes out to see the light once again. However, it’s quick to disappear.

It can disappear with one action, one word, and only a few know how to build it back up within a matter of seconds, and I’ll keep those people forever.

See the thing is though, my heart doesn’t break for my own, it breaks for others, or the thought that they might have to go through what I had to go through; and that’s what hurts.

But all is well. Maybe one day I’ll figure out what eats me alive from the inside. Maybe one day I’ll be able to pinpoint it out on a map and help people with this same problem. I don’t mind the suffering though, it means I’m alive. And what more could I ask for than to live this life full of adventure?

There is so much to do, so many people to impact and so many people to be impacted by. So much love to give, and so much love to receive.

“One day I’ll find my purpose, but until then I will wander. I will wander freely and without limitation.”


Beauty in the Ashes

For you can not see the sunrise without the darkness.
Nor can you feel joy with out sorrow.
Or a brokenness without having been whole.

For you can not enjoy a peace that rises above all fear without having felt torment.
Nor can you realize what love is without having been rejected.
Or the sensation of being full without being empty.

But the great thing is, that we all have felt these emotions, whither it has been for a second or what we deem as “a lifetime”.
And that’s a reminder that better is yet to come.

Just as a rose has to go through thorns for its beauty to be seen.
Or the baby blue sky is clear after the storm,
I will be made whole in my brokenness, and I will be happy, loved, and at peace.